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nydus/Short FictionPublic

A collection of Edgar Allan Poe’s short fiction, ordered by date of publication.

Page 321 of 1087
Table of Contents

The Man That Was Used Up

Next evening found me a somewhat late visitor at the Rantipole Theatre, where I felt sure of satisfying my curiosity at once, by merely stepping into the box of those exquisite specimens of affability and omniscience, the Misses Arabella and Miranda Cognoscenti. That fine tragedian, Climax, was doing Iago to a very crowded house, and I experienced some little difficulty in making my wishes understood; especially, as our box was next the slips, and completely overlooked the stage.

“Smith!” said Miss Arabella, as she at length comprehended the purport of my query; “Smith!⁠—why, not General John A. B. C. ?”

“Smith!” inquired Miranda, musingly. “God bless me, did you ever behold a finer figure?”

“Never, madam, but do tell me⁠—”

“Or so inimitable grace?”

“Never, upon my word!⁠—But pray inform me⁠—”

“Or so just an appreciation of stage effect?”

“Madam!”

“Or a more delicate sense of the true beauties of Shakespeare? Be so good as to look at that leg!”

“The devil!” and I turned again to her sister.

“Smith!” said she, “why, not General John A. B. C. ? Horrid affair that, wasn’t it?⁠—great wretches, those Bugaboos⁠—savage and so on⁠—but we live in a wonderfully inventive age!⁠—Smith!⁠—O yes! great man!⁠—perfect desperado!⁠—immortal renown!⁠—prodigies of valor! Never heard! ” [This was given in a scream.] “Bless my soul! why, he’s the man⁠—”

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