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nydus/Continental Op StoriesPublic

A collection of short stories about an unnamed agent of a detective agency in the early 1920s.

Page 425 of 1257
Table of Contents

IV

lappin’ up this shtuff⁠—hittin’ the pipe⁠—when I could be shomebody. Arc⁠—architec’, y’ un’ershtand⁠—good one, too. But I got in rut⁠—got mixsh up with theshe people. C-can’t sheem to break ’way. Goin’ to, though⁠—no spoofin’. Goin’ back to li’l wife, nicesh woman in the worl’. Don’t you shay anything t’ Kewpie. She’d raishe hell ’f she knew I wash goin’ t’ shake her. Nishe girl, K-kewpie, but tough. S-shtick a bloomin’ knife in me. Good job, too! But I’m goin’ back to wife. Breakin’ ’way from p-pipe an’ ever’thing. Look at me. D’ I look like a hophead? Course not! Curin’ m’self, tha’s why. I’ll show you⁠—take a smoke now⁠—show you I can take it or leave it alone.”

Pulling himself dizzily up out of his chair, he wandered into the next room, bawling a song at the top of his voice:

“A dimber mort with a quarter-stone slum, A-bubbin’ of max with her cove⁠— A bingo fen in a crack-o’-dawn drum, A-waitin’ for⁠—”

He came staggering into the room again carrying an elaborate opium layout⁠—all silver and ebony⁠—on a silver tray. He put it on the table and flourished a pipe at me.

“Have a li’l rear on me, Parker.”

I told him I’d stick to the Scotch.

“Give y’ shot of C. ’f y’d rather have it,” he invited me.

I declined the cocaine, so he sprawled himself comfortably on the floor beside the table, rolled and cooked a pill, and our party went on⁠—with him smoking his hop and me punishing the liquor⁠—each of us still talking for the other’s benefit, and trying to get the other to talk for our own.

I was holding down a lovely package by the time Kewpie came in, at midnight.

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