Fore!

So I says, Dont take it too hard Thomas. It aint nothing only sport after all and you getting beat aint as much your fault as the man that give us the handicaps. You got no business giveing me a strike a hole and if you say so we will play the rest of it even.

It wouldent be even, he says, because I havent got no body along to lead the cheers for me.

Well, I says, I will tell you what I will do to show you Im a good sport. We will pertend like we havent played at all and this p.m. or any time you say, you can bring your Mrs. along and leave her go around with us and encourage you.

No, he says, I can see I am no match for you and my wife aint nowheres near a match for yours.

Your wife is probly good hearted, I says, and if she aint the best looking woman in the world you want to remember that beauty isent only skin deep as they say. And besides, I says, you wouldent be talking that way about your wife if you wasent sore over the golf game. If I was you I would try and forget it and remember that some body has always got to loose and maybe next time you will have better luck. If you will take a little advice from me you should spend a couple hrs. with the teacher and I bet your game would improve 50%. He showed me in 1 lesson what was the matter with my driveing and I guess I can drive OK now as you seen this morning. I noticed 2 or 3 things about your game, I says, that the teacher could fix up for you in a few minutes. You stand too far from the ball and you move your left leg and you swing back too fast and you dont hold your head steady. A man cant help from sliceing and hooking when you do them things.

But he says now that I had told him what was the matter with his game, what was the use of him waisting money on the teacher. But if I was you, he says, I would go to night school somewheres and take a few lessons in manners.