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nydus/Jeeves StoriesPublic

A collection of short stories featuring Jeeves and Wooster and the upperclass English life of the early 1900s.

Page 680 of 698
Table of Contents

Jeeves and the Yuletide Spirit

“All right, then. Carry on.”

“I grant Miss Wickham the possession of all these desirable qualities, sir. Nevertheless, considered as a matrimonial prospect for a gentleman of your description, I cannot look upon her as suitable. In my opinion, Miss Wickham lacks seriousness, sir. She is too volatile and frivolous. To qualify as Miss Wickham’s husband, a gentleman would need to possess a commanding personality and considerable strength of character.”

“Exactly!”

“I would always hesitate to recommend as a life’s companion a young lady with quite such a vivid shade of red hair. Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.”

I eyed the blighter squarely.

“Jeeves,” I said, “you’re talking rot.”

“Very good, sir.”

“Absolute drivel.”

“Very good, sir.”

“Pure mashed potatoes.”

“Very good, sir.”

“Very good, sir⁠—I mean very good, Jeeves, that will be all,” I said.

And I drank a modicum of tea with a good deal of hauteur.

It isn’t often that I find myself able to prove Jeeves in the wrong, but by dinnertime that night I was in a position to do so, and I did it without delay.

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