Of course, after that everything will be over! The office will have vanished off the face of the earth. I shall be arrested, I shall be tried, I shall be dismissed from the service, thrown in prison, sent to Siberia. Never mind! In fifteen years when they let me out of prison I will trudge off to him, a beggar, in rags. I shall find him in some provincial town. He will be married and happy. He will have a grownup daughter.⁠ ⁠… I shall say to him: “Look, monster, at my hollow cheeks and my rags! I’ve lost everything⁠—my career, my happiness, art, science, the woman I loved , and all through you. Here are pistols. I have come to discharge my pistol and⁠ ⁠… and I⁠ ⁠… forgive you. Then I shall fire into the air and he will hear nothing more of me.⁠ ⁠…”