“That debt to Gundry. My father would not meet it; I had to find the money. I could not face the scandal⁠—I tell you I was mad for Lavinia! I could think of nought else. I ceased to care for John because I thought him in love with her. I could not bear to think of the disgrace which would take her from me.⁠ ⁠… Then that night at Dare’s. I was losing; I knew I could not pay. Gad! but I can see my notes of hand under Milward’s elbow, growing⁠ ⁠… growing.

“Jack had played Milward before me, and he had won. I remember they laughed at him, saying his luck had turned at last⁠—for he always lost at cards. Milward and I played with the same pack that they had used.⁠ ⁠… There was another table, I think. Dare was dicing with Fitzgerald; someone was playing faro with Jack behind me. I heard Jack say his luck was out again⁠—I heard them laugh.⁠ ⁠… And all the time I was losing⁠ ⁠… losing.