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A thousand years in the future, the builder of a spaceship discovers his emotions.

Page 225 of 236
Table of Contents

Record Thirty-Eight

I don’t know what title⁠—Perhaps the whole synopsis may be called a cast-off cigarette-butt.

I awoke. A bright glare painful to look at. I half closed my eyes. My head seemed filled with some caustic blue smoke. Everything was enveloped in fog and through the fog:

“But I did not turn on the light⁠ ⁠… then how is it.⁠ ⁠…”

I jumped up. At the table, leaning her chin on her hand and smiling, was I-330 , looking at me.

She was at the very table at which I am now writing. Those ten or fifteen minutes are already behind me, cruelly twisted into a very firm spring. Yet it seems to me that the door closed after her only a second ago and that I could still overtake her and grasp her hand⁠—and that she might laugh out and say.⁠ ⁠…

I-330 was at the table. I rushed towards her.

“You? You! I have been.⁠ ⁠… I saw your room.⁠ ⁠… I thought you.⁠ ⁠…” But midway I hurt myself upon the sharp, motionless spears of her eyelashes and I stopped. I remembered: she looked at me in the same way before⁠—in the Integral . It was urgent to tell her everything in one second and in such a way that she should believe⁠—or she would never.⁠ ⁠…

“Listen, I-330 , I must.⁠ ⁠… I must⁠ ⁠… everything! No, no, one moment⁠—let me have a glass of water first.”

My mouth was as dry as though it were lined with blotting paper. I poured a glass of water but I could not.⁠ ⁠… I put the glass back upon the table, and with both hands firmly grasped the carafe.

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