Lordings (quoth he), in churchë when I preach, I painë me to have an hautein speech, And ring it out, as round as doth a bell, For I know all by rotë that I tell. My theme is always one, and ever was; Radix malorum est cupiditas . First I pronouncë whencë that I come, And then my bullës shew I all and some; Our liegë lordë’s seal on my patént, That shew I first, my body to warrent, That no man be so hardy, priest nor clerk, Me to disturb of Christë’s holy werk. And after that then tell I forth my tales. Bullës of popës, and of cardinales, Of patriarchs, and of bishóps I shew, And in Latín I speak a wordës few, To savour with my predicatión, And for to stir men to devotión Then show I forth my longë crystal stones, Y-crammed fall of cloutës and of bones; Relics they be, as weenë they each one. Then have I in latoun a shoulder-bone Which that was of a holy Jewë’s sheep. “Good men,” say I, “take of my wordës keep; If that this bone be wash’d in any well, If cow, or calf, or sheep, or oxë swell, That any worm hath eat, or worm y-stung, Take water of that well, and wash his tongue, And it is whole anon; and farthermore Of pockës, and of scab, and every sore Shall every sheep be whole, that of this well Drinketh a draught; take keep of that I tell.
“If that the goodman, that the beastës oweth, Will every week, ere that the cock him croweth, Fasting, y-drinken of this well a draught, As thilkë holy Jew our elders taught, His beastës and his store shall multiply. And, Sirs, also it healeth jealousy; For though a man be fall’n in jealous rage, Let make with this water his pottáge, And never shall he more his wife mistrist, Though he the sooth of her defaultë wist; All had she taken priestës two or three. Here is a mittain eke, that ye may see; He that his hand will put in this mittáin, He shall have multiplying of his grain, When he hath sowen, be it wheat or oats, So that he offer pence, or ellës groats. And, men and women, one thing warn I you; If any wight be in