One night as I was meandering over Kearny Street toward the Coast somebody fell into step beside me. I looked around and saw Soldier Johnnie. We were well met, and I asked about his visit home. “Hell, I only got as far as Chi. I bumped into a tribe of hungry bums, winter-bound and starving there. They were living off the free-lunch counters and the weather was so fierce they couldn’t stay out on the street long enough to beg a dime for a ten-cent flop in the Knickerbocker Hotel. They were so miserable and forlorn that I went over to the West Side and rented a housekeeping joint and gave them an indoor convention. In six weeks my thousand dollars was gone and I put in the rest of the winter hanging around Hinky Dink’s and Bathhouse John’s. When the weather got right I rambled west to Salt Lake. I was going to hold it down in the Lake till George came out, but I met a beggar that had put in the winter here in the city and he implored me to come out here and take one look at the box in the Wigwam Theater. I’ve looked it over and it’s the softest thing I ever saw. It’s older than I am and I can beat it with a fifty-cent hammer.”

“Do you need any help?”