āāāHave I anything to say? Yes, I have a deal to say. I have to make a clean breast of it all. You can hang me, or you can leave me alone. I donāt care a plug which you do. I tell you Iāve not shut an eye in sleep since I did it, and I donāt believe I ever will again until I get past all waking. Sometimes itās his face, but most generally itās hers. Iām never without one or the other before me. He looks frowning and black-like, but she has a kind oā surprise upon her face. Ay, the white lamb, she might well be surprised when she read death on a face that had seldom looked anything but love upon her before.
āāāBut it was Sarahās fault, and may the curse of a broken man put a blight on her and set the blood rotting in her veins! Itās not that I want to clear myself. I know that I went back to drink, like the beast that I was. But she would have forgiven me; she would have stuck as close to me as a rope to a block if that woman had never darkened our door. For Sarah Cushing loved meā āthatās the root of the businessā āshe loved me until all her love turned to poisonous hate when she knew that I thought more of my wifeās footmark in the mud than I did of her whole body and soul.