“Yes. To let out into the street such a group of bald-headed naked little truths. Only imagine please. Imagine, say, that persistent admirer of mine, S- , well, you know him. Then imagine: if he should discard the deception of clothes and appear in public in his true form … oh!” She laughed. But I clearly saw her lower, sorrowful triangle; two deep grooves from the nose to the mouth. And for some reason these grooves made me think: that double-curved being, half-hunched, with winglike ears—he embraced her? her, such … Oh!
Naturally, I try now merely to express my abnormal feelings of that moment. Now, as I write, I understand perfectly that all this is as it should be; that he, S-4711 , like any other honest Number has a perfect right to the joys of life and that it would be unjust. … But I think the point is quite clear.
I-330 laughed a long, strange laugh. Then she cast a look at me, into me.
“The most curious thing is that I am not in the least afraid of you. You are such a dear, I am sure of it! You would never think of going to the Bureau and reporting that I drink liqueurs and smoke. You will be sick or busy, or I don’t know what. … Furthermore, I am sure you will drink this charming poison with me.”
What an impertinent, mocking tone! I felt definitely that in a moment I should hate her. (Why in a moment? In fact I hated her all the time.)
I-330 turned over the little glass of green poison straight into her mouth. Then she stood up, and all rosy through the translucent saffron-yellow tissue, she made a few steps and stopped behind my chair. … Suddenly her arms were about my neck … her lips grew into mine, no, even somewhere much deeper, much more terribly. … I swear all this was very unexpected for me. That is why perhaps … for I could not (at this moment I see clearly) I could not myself have the desire to. …