Not so gaily, however, but that tears filled her eyes as he went away down the dark street. Not so gaily, but that she several times said, “Ah, poor little Pa! Ah, poor dear struggling shabby little Pa!” before she took heart to knock at the door. Not so gaily, but that the brilliant furniture seemed to stare her out of countenance as if it insisted on being compared with the dingy furniture at home. Not so gaily, but that she fell into very low spirits sitting late in her own room, and very heartily wept, as she wished, now that the deceased old John Harmon had never made a will about her, now that the deceased young John Harmon had lived to marry her. “Contradictory things to wish,” said Bella, “but my life and fortunes are so contradictory altogether that what can I expect myself to be!”