Having made fair copies of these poems, I signed every one of them “Oppodeldoc” (a fine sonorous name), and, doing each up nicely in a separate envelope, I despatched one to each of the four principal magazines, with a request for speedy insertion and prompt pay. The result of this well conceived plan, however, (the success of which would have saved me much trouble in after life,) served to convince me that some editors are not to be bamboozled, and gave the coup de grâce (as they say in France) to my nascent hopes (as they say in the city of the transcendentals).
The fact is, that each and every one of the magazines in question, gave Mr. “Oppodeldoc” a complete using up, in the “Monthly Notices to Correspondents.” The Hum-Drum gave him a dressing after this fashion:
“ ‘Oppodeldoc’ (whoever he is) has sent us a long tirade concerning a bedlamite whom he styles ‘Ugolino,’ who had a great many children that should have been all whipped and sent to bed without their suppers. The whole affair is exceedingly tame—not to say flat . ‘Oppodeldoc’ (whoever he is) is entirely devoid of imagination—and imagination, in our humble opinion, is not only the soul of Poesy , but also its very heart. ‘Oppodeldoc’ (whoever he is) has the audacity to demand of us, for his twattle, a ‘speedy insertion and prompt pay.’ We neither insert nor purchase any stuff of the sort. There can be no doubt, however, that he would meet with a ready sale for all the balderdash he can scribble, at the office of either the Rowdy-Dow , the Lollipop , or the Goosetherumfoodle .”
All this, it must be acknowledged, was very severe upon “Oppodeldoc”—but the unkindest cut was putting the word Poesy in