It was a matter of no small pride to me in South Africa to find that American humor was never at a discount, and one of the best American stories I ever heard was told by the premier. At Hotel Royal one day, dining with Colonel Saunderson, M.P. , his son, and Lieutenant Tipping, I met Mr. Stanley. The great explorer was just from Pretoria, and had already as good as flayed President Krüger with his trenchant pen. But that did not signify, for everybody has a whack at Oom Paul, and no one in the world seems to stand the joke better than he, not even the Sultan of Turkey himself. The colonel introduced me to the explorer, and I hauled close to the wind, to go slow, for Mr. Stanley was a nautical man once himself—on the Nyanza , I think—and of course my desire was to appear in the best light before a man of his experience. He looked me over carefully, and said, “What an example of patience!” “Patience is all that is required,” I ventured to reply. He then asked if my vessel had watertight compartments. I explained that she was all watertight and all compartment. “What if she should strike a rock?” he asked. “Compartments would not save her if she should hit the rocks lying along her course,” said I; adding, “she must be kept away from the rocks.” After a considerable pause Mr. Stanley asked, “What if a swordfish should pierce her hull with its sword?” Of course I had thought of that as one of the dangers of the sea, and also of the chance of being struck by lightning. In the case of the swordfish, I ventured to say that “the first thing would be to secure the sword.” The colonel invited me to dine with the party on the following day, that we might go further into this matter, and so I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Stanley a second time, but got no more hints in navigation from the famous explorer.
It sounds odd to hear scholars and statesmen say the world is flat; but it is a fact that three Boers favored by the opinion of President Krüger prepared a work to support that contention. While I was at Durban they came from Pretoria to obtain data from me, and they seemed annoyed when I told them that they could not prove it by my experience. With