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nydus/The Lives of the Twelve CaesarsPublic
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I. Livia

great plenty of old taverns, from which he himself used formerly to have his wine. Among other reasons for his supporting a certain person who was candidate for the quaestorship, he gave this: “His father,” said he, “once gave me, very seasonably, a draught of cold water when I was sick.” Upon his bringing a woman as a witness in some cause before the senate, he said, “This woman was my mother’s freedwoman and dresser, but she always considered me as her master; and this I say, because there are some still in my family that do not look upon me as such.” The people of Ostia addressing him in open court with a petition, he flew into a rage at them, and said, “There is no reason why I should oblige you: if any one else is free to act as he pleases, surely I am.” The following expressions he had in his mouth every day, and at all hours and seasons: “What! do you take me for a Theogonius?” 541 And in Greek lalei kai mae thingane, “Speak, but do not touch me;” besides many other familiar sentences, below the dignity of a private person, much more of an emperor, who was not deficient either in eloquence or learning, as having applied himself very closely to the liberal sciences.

XLI. By the encouragement of Titus Livius 542, and with the assistance of Sulpicius Flavus, he attempted at an early age the composition of a history; and having called together a numerous auditory, to hear and give their judgment upon it, he read it over with much difficulty, and frequently interrupting himself. For after he had begun, a great laugh was raised amongst the company, by the breaking of several benches from the weight of a very fat man; and even when order was restored, he could not forbear bursting out into violent fits of laughter, at the remembrance of the accident.

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