“Nothing, ma’am; nothing whatever, ma’am,” said Mr. Pickwick earnestly.

“Nothing!” said the lady, looking up.

“Nothing, ma’am, upon my honour,” said Mr. Pickwick, nodding his head so energetically, that the tassel of his nightcap danced again. “I am almost ready to sink, ma’am, beneath the confusion of addressing a lady in my nightcap (here the lady hastily snatched off hers), but I can’t get it off, ma’am (here Mr. Pickwick gave it a tremendous tug, in proof of the statement). It is evident to me, ma’am, now, that I have mistaken this bedroom for my own. I had not been here five minutes, ma’am, when you suddenly entered it.”

“If this improbable story be really true, Sir,” said the lady, sobbing violently, “you will leave it instantly.”