“ ‘Come, come, Tom,’ said the old gentleman, ‘that’s not the way to address solid Spanish mahogany. Damme, you couldn’t treat me with less respect if I was veneered.’ When the old gentleman said this, he looked so fierce that Tom began to grow frightened.

“ ‘I didn’t mean to treat you with any disrespect, Sir,’ said Tom, in a much humbler tone than he had spoken in at first.

“ ‘Well, well,’ said the old fellow, ‘perhaps not⁠—perhaps not. Tom⁠—’

“ ‘Sir⁠—’

“ ‘I know everything about you, Tom; everything. You’re very poor, Tom.’

“ ‘I certainly am,’ said Tom Smart. ‘But how came you to know that?’

“ ‘Never mind that,’ said the old gentleman; ‘you’re much too fond of punch, Tom.’