VI

intervals, or not. But at last Rogojin rose, staring at me as intently as ever, but not smiling any longer⁠—and walking very softly, almost on tiptoes, to the door, he opened it, went out, and shut it behind him. “I did not rise from my bed, and I don’t know how long I lay with my eyes open, thinking. I don’t know what I thought about, nor how I fell asleep or became insensible; but I awoke next morning after nine o’clock when they knocked at my door. My general orders are that if I don’t open the door and call, by nine o’clock, Matreona is to come and bring my tea. When I now opened the door to her, the thought suddenly struck me⁠—how could he have come in, since the door was locked? I made inquiries and found that Rogojin himself could not possibly have come in, because all our doors were locked for the night. “Well, this strange circumstance⁠—which I have described with so much detail⁠—was the ultimate cause which led me to taking my final determination. So that no logic, or logical deductions, had anything to do with my resolve;⁠—it was simply a matter of disgust . “It was impossible for me to go on living when life was full of such detestable, strange, tormenting forms. This ghost had humiliated me;⁠—nor could I bear to be subordinate to that dark, horrible force which was embodied in the form of the loathsome insect. It was only towards evening, when I had quite made up my mind on this point, that I began to feel easier.