The study was slowly lit up as the candle was brought in. The familiar details came out: the stagâs horns, the bookshelves, the looking-glass, the stove with its ventilator, which had long wanted mending, his fatherâs sofa, a large table, on the table an open book, a broken ashtray, a manuscript book with his handwriting. As he saw all this, there came over him for an instant a doubt of the possibility of arranging the new life, of which he had been dreaming on the road. All these traces of his life seemed to clutch him, and to say to him: âNo, youâre not going to get away from us, and youâre not going to be different, but youâre going to be the same as youâve always been; with doubts, everlasting dissatisfaction with yourself, vain efforts to amend, and falls, and everlasting expectation, of a happiness which you wonât get, and which isnât possible for you.â
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