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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 441 of 810
Table of Contents

IX

⸻To us, Jonathan , who know not what want or care is⁠—who live here in the service of two of the best of masters⁠—(bating in my own case his majesty King William the Third, whom I had the honour to serve both in Ireland and Flanders )⁠—I own it, that from Whitsontide to within three weeks of Christmas ,⁠—’tis not long⁠—’tis like nothing;⁠—but to those, Jonathan , who know what death is, and what havock and destruction he can make, before a man can well wheel about⁠—’tis like a whole age.⁠—O Jonathan! ’twould make a good-natured man’s heart bleed, to consider, continued the corporal (standing perpendicularly), how low many a brave and upright fellow has been laid since that time!⁠—And trust me, Susy , added the corporal, turning to Susannah , whose eyes were swimming in water,⁠—before that time comes round again,⁠—many a bright eye will be dim.⁠— Susannah placed it to the right side of the page⁠—she wept⁠—but she court’sied too.⁠—Are we not, continued Trim , looking still at Susannah ⁠—are we not like a flower of the field⁠—a tear of pride stole in betwixt every two tears of humiliation⁠—else no tongue could have described Susannah’s affliction⁠—is not all flesh grass?⁠—’Tis clay,⁠—’tis dirt.⁠—They all looked directly at the scullion,⁠—the scullion had just been scouring a fish-kettle.⁠—It was not fair.⁠⸺⁠

—What is the finest face that ever man looked at!⁠—I could hear Trim talk so forever, cried Susannah ,⁠—what is it! ( Susannah laid her hand upon Trim’s shoulder)⁠—but corruption?⁠⸺⁠ Susannah took it off.

Now I love you for this⁠—and ’tis this delicious mixture within you which makes you dear creatures what you are⁠—and he who hates you for it⁠⸻all I can say of the matter is⁠—That he has either a pumpkin for his head⁠—or a pippin for his heart,⁠—and whenever he is dissected ’twill be found so.

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