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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 84 of 810
Table of Contents

XV

turn;⁠⸺⁠but to no more,⁠—and so on, toties quoties , in as effectual a manner, as if such a covenant betwixt them had not been made.”⁠—This, by the way, was no more than what was reasonable;⁠—and yet, as reasonable as it was, I have ever thought it hard that the whole weight of the article should have fallen entirely, as it did, upon myself.

But I was begot and born to misfortunes:⁠—for my poor mother, whether it was wind or water⁠—or a compound of both,⁠—or neither;⁠—or whether it was simply the mere swell of imagination and fancy in her;⁠—or how far a strong wish and desire to have it so, might mislead her judgment:⁠—in short, whether she was deceived or deceiving in this matter, it no way becomes me to decide. The fact was this, That in the latter end of September 1717, which was the year before I was born, my mother having carried my father up to town much against the grain,⁠—he peremptorily insisted upon the clause;⁠—so that I was doom’d, by marriage-articles, to have my nose squeez’d as flat to my face, as if the destinies had actually spun me without one.

How this event came about,⁠—and what a train of vexatious disappointments, in one stage or other of my life, have pursued me from the mere loss, or rather compression, of this one single member,⁠—shall be laid before the reader all in due time.

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