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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 733 of 810
Table of Contents

XXXIII

would procure thee the most beautiful women in my empire, and I would oblige thee, nolens, volens, to beget for me one subject every month ⁠⸺⁠

As my father pronounced the last word of the sentence⁠—my mother took a pinch of snuff.

Now I would not, quoth my uncle Toby , get a child, nolens, volens, that is, whether I would or no, to please the greatest prince upon earth⁠⸺⁠

⸺⁠And ’twould be cruel in me, brother Toby , to compel thee; said my father⁠—but ’tis a case put to show thee, that it is not thy begetting a child⁠—in case thou should’st be able⁠—but the system of Love and Marriage thou goest upon, which I would set thee right in⁠⸺⁠

There is at least, said Yorick , a great deal of reason and plain sense in captain Shandy’s opinion of love; and ’tis amongst the ill-spent hours of my life, which I have to answer for, that I have read so many flourishing poets and rhetoricians in my time, from whom I never could extract so much⁠⸺⁠

I wish, Yorick , said my father, you had read Plato ; for there you would have learnt that there are two Loves ⁠—I know there were two Religions , replied Yorick , amongst the ancients⁠⸺⁠one⁠—for the vulgar, and another for the learned;⁠—but I think one Love might have served both of them very well⁠—

It could not; replied my father⁠—and for the same reasons: for of these Loves, according to Ficinus’s comment upon Velasius , the one is rational⁠⸺⁠

⸺⁠the other is natural ⁠⸺⁠

the first ancient⁠⸺⁠without mother⁠⸺⁠where Venus had nothing to do: the second, begotten of Jupiter and Dione ⁠—

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