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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 99 of 810
Table of Contents

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speculatist to stand single in his opinions,⁠—unless he gives them proper vent:⁠—It was the identical thing which my father did:⁠—for in the year sixteen, which was two years before I was born, he was at the pains of writing an express Dissertation simply upon the word Tristram ,⁠—showing the world, with great candour and modesty, the grounds of his great abhorrence to the name.

When this story is compared with the title-page,⁠—Will not the gentle reader pity my father from his soul?⁠—to see an orderly and well-disposed gentleman, who though singular,⁠—yet inoffensive in his notions,⁠—so played upon in them by cross purposes;⁠⸺⁠to look down upon the stage, and see him baffled and overthrown in all his little systems and wishes; to behold a train of events perpetually falling out against him, and in so critical and cruel a way, as if they had purposedly been plann’d and pointed against him, merely to insult his speculations.⁠⸺⁠In a word, to behold such a one, in his old age, ill-fitted for troubles, ten times in a day suffering sorrow;⁠—ten times in a day calling the child of his prayers Tristram! ⁠—Melancholy dissyllable of sound! which, to his ears, was unison to Nincompoop , and every name vituperative under heaven.⁠⸺⁠By his ashes! I swear it,⁠—if ever malignant spirit took pleasure, or busied itself in traversing the purposes of mortal man,⁠—it must have been here;⁠—and if it was not necessary I should be born before I was christened, I would this moment give the reader an account of it.

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