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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 788 of 810
Table of Contents

XXIV

⸺⁠God help her! poor damsel! above a hundred masses, said the postillion, have been said in the several parish churches and convents around, for her,⁠⸺⁠but without effect; we have still hopes, as she is sensible for short intervals, that the Virgin at last will restore her to herself; but her parents, who know her best, are hopeless upon that score, and think her senses are lost forever.

As the postillion spoke this, Maria made a cadence so melancholy, so tender and querulous, that I sprung out of the chaise to help her, and found myself sitting betwixt her and her goat before I relapsed from my enthusiasm.

Maria look’d wistfully for some time at me, and then at her goat⁠⸺⁠and then at me⁠⸺⁠and then at her goat again, and so on, alternately⁠⸺⁠

⸺⁠Well, Maria , said I softly⁠⸺⁠What resemblance do you find?

I do entreat the candid reader to believe me, that it was from the humblest conviction of what a Beast man is,⁠⸺⁠that I asked the question; and that I would not have let fallen an unseasonable pleasantry in the venerable presence of Misery, to be entitled to all the wit that ever Rabelais scatter’d⁠⸺⁠and yet I own my heart smote me, and that I so smarted at the very idea of it, that I swore I would set up for Wisdom, and utter grave sentences the rest of my days⁠⸺⁠and never⁠⸺⁠never attempt again to commit mirth with man, woman, or child, the longest day I had to live.

As for writing nonsense to them⁠⸺⁠I believe, there was a reserve⁠—but that I leave to the world.

Adieu, Maria! ⁠—adieu,

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