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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 487 of 810
Table of Contents

XXXIV

With two strokes, the one at Hippocrates , the other at Lord Verulam , did my father achieve it.

The stroke at the prince of physicians, with which he began, was no more than a short insult upon his sorrowful complaint of the Ars longa,⁠—and Vita brevis.⁠⸺⁠Life short, cried my father,⁠—and the art of healing tedious! And who are we to thank for both the one and the other, but the ignorance of quacks themselves,⁠—and the stage-loads of chymical nostrums, and peripatetic lumber, with which, in all ages, they have first flatter’d the world, and at last deceived it?

⸺⁠O my lord Verulam! cried my father, turning from Hippocrates , and making his second stroke at him, as the principal of nostrum-mongers, and the fittest to be made an example of to the rest,⁠⸺⁠What shall I say to thee, my great lord Verulam? What shall I say to thy internal spirit,⁠—thy opium,⁠—thy saltpetre,⁠⸺⁠thy greasy unctions,⁠—thy daily purges,⁠—thy nightly clysters, and succedaneums?

⸺⁠My father was never at a loss what to say to any man, upon any subject; and had the least occasion for the exordium of any man breathing: how he dealt with his lordship’s opinion,⁠⸺⁠you shall see;⁠⸺⁠but when⁠—I know not;⁠⸺⁠we must first see what his lordship’s opinion was.

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