“But what is it to you?” he said, grinning. He shrugged his shoulders and walked away.

It came over me with a rush. All my suspicions were confirmed. Till then, I had been hoping I was mistaken! What was I to do? I was on the point of asking the advice of Stepan Trofimovitch, but he was standing before the looking-glass, trying on different smiles, and continually consulting a piece of paper on which he had notes. He had to go on immediately after Karmazinov, and was not in a fit state for conversation. Should I run to Yulia Mihailovna? But it was too soon to go to her: she needed a much sterner lesson to cure her of her conviction that she had “a following,” and that everyone was “fanatically devoted” to her. She would not have believed me, and would have thought I was dreaming. Besides, what help could she be? “Eh,” I thought, “after all, what business is it of mine? I’ll take off my badge and go home when it begins .” That was my mental phrase, “when it begins”; I remember it.