My uncle Toby , I suppose, thought of neither, for he look’d horizontally.—Right end! quoth my uncle Toby , muttering the two words low to himself, and fixing his two eyes insensibly as he muttered them, upon a small crevice, formed by a bad joint in the chimneypiece⸺Right end of a woman!⸺I declare, quoth my uncle, I know no more which it is than the man in the moon;⸺and if I was to think, continued my uncle Toby (keeping his eye still fixed upon the bad joint) this month together, I am sure I should not be able to find it out.
Then, brother Toby , replied my father, I will tell you.
Everything in this world, continued my father (filling a fresh pipe)—everything in this world, my dear brother Toby , has two handles.⸺Not always, quoth my uncle Toby .⸺At least, replied my father, everyone has two hands,⸺which comes to the same thing.⸺Now, if a man was to sit down coolly, and consider within himself the make, the shape, the construction, come-at-ability, and convenience of all the parts which constitute the whole of that animal, called Woman, and compare them analogically⸺I never understood rightly the meaning of that word,—quoth my uncle Toby .—
Analogy , replied my father, is the certain relation and agreement which different⸺Here a devil of a rap at the door snapped my father’s definition (like his tobacco-pipe) in two,—and, at the same time, crushed the head of as notable and curious a dissertation as ever was engendered in the womb of speculation;—it was some months before my father could get an opportunity to be safely delivered of it:—And, at this hour, it is a thing full as problematical as the subject of the dissertation itself,—(considering the confusion and distresses of our domestick misadventures, which are now coming thick one upon the back of another) whether I shall be able to find a place for it in the third volume or not.