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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 732 of 810
Table of Contents

XXXIII

As the ancients agree, brother Toby , said my father, that there are two different and distinct kinds of love , according to the different parts which are affected by it⁠—the Brain or Liver⁠⸺⁠I think when a man is in love, it behoves him a little to consider which of the two he is fallen into.

What signifies it, brother Shandy , replied my uncle Toby , which of the two it is, provided it will but make a man marry, and love his wife, and get a few children?

⸺⁠A few children! cried my father, rising out of his chair, and looking full in my mother’s face, as he forced his way betwixt hers and doctor Slop’s ⁠—a few children! cried my father, repeating my uncle Toby’s words as he walk’d to and fro⁠⸺⁠

⸺⁠Not, my dear brother Toby , cried my father, recovering himself all at once, and coming close up to the back of my uncle Toby’s chair⁠—not that I should be sorry hadst thou a score⁠—on the contrary, I should rejoice⁠—and be as kind, Toby , to every one of them as a father⁠—

My uncle Toby stole his hand unperceived behind his chair, to give my father’s a squeeze⁠⸺⁠

⸺⁠Nay, moreover, continued he, keeping hold of my uncle Toby’s hand⁠—so much dost thou possess, my dear Toby , of the milk of human nature, and so little of its asperities⁠—’tis piteous the world is not peopled by creatures which resemble thee; and was I an Asiatic monarch, added my father, heating himself with his new project⁠—I would oblige thee, provided it would not impair thy strength⁠—or dry up thy radical moisture too fast⁠—or weaken thy memory or fancy, brother Toby , which these gymnics inordinately taken are apt to do⁠—else, dear Toby , I

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