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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 534 of 810
Table of Contents

XIV

What a jovial and a merry world would this be, may it please your worships, but for that inextricable labyrinth of debts, cares, woes, want, grief, discontent, melancholy, large jointures, impositions, and lies!

Doctor Slop , like a son of a w⁠⸺, as my father called him for it,⁠—to exalt himself,⁠—debased me to death,⁠—and made ten thousand times more of Susannah’s accident, than there was any grounds for; so that in a week’s time, or less, it was in everybody’s mouth, That poor Master Shandy * * * * * * * * entirely.⁠—And Fame , who loves to double everything,⁠—in three days more, had sworn, positively she saw it,⁠—and all the world, as usual, gave credit to her evidence⁠⸺“That the nursery window had not only * * * * * * * * * * * * ;⁠⸺⁠but that * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *’s also.”

Could the world have been sued like a body-corporate ,⁠—my father had brought an action upon the case, and trounced it sufficiently; but to fall foul of individuals about it⁠⸺⁠as every soul who had mentioned the affair, did it with the greatest pity imaginable;⁠⸺’twas like flying in the very face of his best friends:⁠⸺⁠And yet to acquiesce under the report, in silence⁠—was to acknowledge it openly,⁠—at least in the opinion of one half of the world; and to make a bustle again, in contradicting it,⁠—was to confirm it as strongly in the opinion of the other half.⁠⸻

⸺⁠Was ever poor devil of a country gentleman so hampered? said my father.

I would show him publickly, said my uncle Toby , at the market cross.

⸺’Twill have no effect, said my father.

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