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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 756 of 810
Table of Contents

VII

As Tom , an’ please your honour, had no business at that time with the Moorish girl, he passed on into the room beyond, to talk to the Jew’s widow about love⁠⸺⁠and this pound of sausages; and being, as I have told your honour, an open cheery-hearted lad, with his character wrote in his looks and carriage, he took a chair, and without much apology, but with great civility at the same time, placed it close to her at the table, and sat down.

There is nothing so awkward, as courting a woman, an’ please your honour, whilst she is making sausages⁠⸺⁠So Tom began a discourse upon them; first, gravely,⁠⸺“as how they were made⁠⸺⁠with what meats, herbs, and spices”⁠—Then a little gayly,⁠—as, “With what skins⁠⸺⁠and if they never burst⁠⸺⁠Whether the largest were not the best?”⁠⸺⁠and so on⁠—taking care only as he went along, to season what he had to say upon sausages, rather under than over;⁠⸺⁠that he might have room to act in⁠⸺⁠

It was owing to the neglect of that very precaution, said my uncle Toby , laying his hand upon Trim’s shoulder, that Count De la Motte lost the battle of Wynendale : he pressed too speedily into the wood; which if he had not done, Lisle had not fallen into our hands, nor Ghent and Bruges , which both followed her example; it was so late in the year, continued my uncle Toby , and so terrible a season came on, that if things had not fallen out as they did, our troops must have perish’d in the open field.⁠⸺⁠

⸺⁠Why, therefore, may not battles, an’ please your honour, as well as marriages, be made in heaven?⁠—My uncle Toby mused⁠⸺⁠

Religion inclined him to say one thing, and his high idea of military skill tempted him to say another; so not being able to frame a reply

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