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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 360 of 810
Table of Contents

XVI

If my wife will but venture him⁠—brother Toby , Trismegistus shall be dress’d and brought down to us, whilst you and I are getting our breakfasts together.⁠⸻

⸺⁠Go, tell Susannah , Obadiah , to step here.

She is run upstairs, answered Obadiah , this very instant, sobbing and crying, and wringing her hands as if her heart would break.

We shall have a rare month of it, said my father, turning his head from Obadiah , and looking wistfully in my uncle Toby’s face for some time⁠—we shall have a devilish month of it, brother Toby , said my father, setting his arms akimbo, and shaking his head; fire, water, women, wind⁠—brother Toby! ⁠—’Tis some misfortune, quoth my uncle Toby .⁠⸺⁠That it is, cried my father⁠—to have so many jarring elements breaking loose, and riding triumph in every corner of a gentleman’s house⁠—Little boots it to the peace of a family, brother Toby , that you and I possess ourselves, and sit here silent and unmoved⁠⸺⁠whilst such a storm is whistling over our heads.⁠⸻

And what’s the matter, Susannah? They have called the child Tristram ⁠⸺⁠and my mistress is just got out of an hysterick fit about it⁠⸺⁠No⁠⸺’tis not my fault, said Susannah ⁠—I told him it was Tristram-gistus .

⸺⁠Make tea for yourself, brother Toby , said my father, taking down his hat⁠⸺⁠but how different from the sallies and agitations of voice and members which a common reader would imagine!

—For he spake in the sweetest modulation⁠—and took down his hat with the genteelest movement of limbs, that ever affliction harmonized and attuned together.

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