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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 235 of 810
Table of Contents

XII

thing!⁠—not one of the angles at the four corners was a right angle.⁠—I had my rule and compasses, etc. , my lord, in my pocket.⁠—Excellent critick!

⸺⁠And for the epick poem your lordship bid me look at⁠⸺⁠upon taking the length, breadth, height, and depth of it, and trying them at home upon an exact scale of Bossu’s ⁠⸺’tis out, my lord, in every one of its dimensions.⁠—Admirable connoisseur!

⸺⁠And did you step in, to take a look at the grand picture in your way back?⁠—’Tis a melancholy daub! my lord; not one principle of the pyramid in any one group!⁠⸺⁠and what a price!⁠⸺⁠for there is nothing of the colouring of Titian ⁠—the expression of Rubens ⁠—the grace of Raphael ⁠—the purity of Dominichino ⁠—the corregiescity of Corregio ⁠—the learning of Poussin ⁠—the airs of Guido ⁠—the taste of the Carrachis ⁠—or the grand contour of Angela .⁠—Grant me patience, just Heaven!⁠—Of all the cants which are canted in this canting world⁠—though the cant of hypocrites may be the worst⁠⸺⁠the cant of criticism is the most tormenting!

I would go fifty miles on foot, for I have not a horse worth riding on, to kiss the hand of that man whose generous heart will give up the reins of his imagination into his author’s hands⁠⸺⁠be pleased he knows not why, and cares not wherefore.

Great Apollo! if thou art in a giving humour⁠—give me⁠—I ask no more, but one stroke of native humour, with a single spark of thy own fire along with it⁠⸺⁠and send Mercury , with the rules and compasses , if he can be spared, with my compliments to⁠—no matter.

Now to anyone else I will undertake to prove, that all the oaths and imprecations which we have been puffing off upon the world for these two hundred and fifty years last past as originals⁠⸺⁠except St. Paul’s thumb ⁠⸺⁠ God’s flesh and God’s fish , which were oaths monarchical,

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