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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 693 of 810
Table of Contents

XIX

It was a thousand pities⁠⸺⁠though I believe, an’ please your honour, I am going to say but a foolish kind of a thing for a soldier⁠⸺⁠

A soldier, cried my uncle Toby , interrupting the corporal, is no more exempt from saying a foolish thing, Trim , than a man of letters⁠⸺⁠But not so often, an’ please your honour, replied the corporal⁠⸺⁠My uncle Toby gave a nod.

It was a thousand pities then, said the corporal, casting his eye upon Dunkirk , and the mole, as Servius Sulpicius , in returning out of Asia (when he sailed from Ægina towards Megara ), did upon Corinth and Pyreus ⁠⸺⁠

—“It was a thousand pities, an’ please your honour, to destroy these works⁠⸺⁠and a thousand pities to have let them stood.”⁠⸺⁠

⸺⁠Thou art right, Trim , in both cases; said my uncle Toby .⁠⸺⁠This, continued the corporal, is the reason, that from the beginning of their demolition to the end⁠⸺⁠I have never once whistled, or sung, or laugh’d, or cry’d, or talk’d of past done deeds, or told your honour one story good or bad⁠⸺⁠

⸺⁠Thou hast many excellencies, Trim , said my uncle Toby , and I hold it not the least of them, as thou happenest to be a storyteller, that of the number thou hast told me, either to amuse me in my painful hours, or divert me in my grave ones⁠—thou hast seldom told me a bad one⁠⸺⁠

⸺⁠Because, an’ please your honour, except one of a King of Bohemia and his seven castles ,⁠—they are all true; for they are about myself⁠⸺⁠

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