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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 807 of 810
Table of Contents

XXXIII

⸺⁠That provision should be made for continuing the race of so great, so exalted and godlike a Being as man⁠—I am far from denying⁠—but philosophy speaks freely of everything; and therefore I still think and do maintain it to be a pity, that it should be done by means of a passion which bends down the faculties, and turns all the wisdom, contemplations, and operations of the soul backwards⁠⸺⁠a passion, my dear, continued my father, addressing himself to my mother, which couples and equals wise men with fools, and makes us come out of our caverns and hiding-places more like satyrs and four-footed beasts than men.

I know it will be said, continued my father (availing himself of the Prolepsis ), that in itself, and simply taken⁠⸺⁠like hunger, or thirst, or sleep⁠⸺’tis an affair neither good or bad⁠—or shameful or otherwise.⁠⸺⁠Why then did the delicacy of Diogenes and Plato so recalcitrate against it? and wherefore, when we go about to make and plant a man, do we put out the candle? and for what reason is it, that all the parts thereof⁠—the congredients⁠—the preparations⁠—the instruments, and whatever serves thereto, are so held as to be conveyed to a cleanly mind by no language, translation, or periphrasis whatever?

⸺⁠The act of killing and destroying a man, continued my father, raising his voice⁠—and turning to my uncle Toby ⁠—you see, is glorious⁠—and the weapons by which we do it are honourable⁠⸺⁠We march with them upon our shoulders⁠⸺⁠We strut with them by our sides⁠⸺⁠We gild them⁠⸺⁠We carve them⁠⸺⁠We inlay them⁠⸺⁠We enrich them⁠⸺⁠Nay, if it be but a scoundrel cannon, we cast an ornament upon the breach of it.⁠—

⸺⁠My uncle Toby laid down his pipe to intercede for a better epithet⁠⸺⁠and Yorick was rising up to batter the whole hypothesis to

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