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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 354 of 810
Table of Contents

XIII

Holla!⁠⸺⁠you, chairman!⁠⸺⁠here’s sixpence⁠⸺⁠do step into that bookseller’s shop, and call me a day-tall critick. I am very willing to give any one of ’em a crown to help me with his tackling, to get my father and my uncle Toby off the stairs, and to put them to bed.

—’Tis even high time; for except a short nap, which they both got whilst Trim was boring the jackboots⁠—and which, by the by, did my father no sort of good, upon the score of the bad hinge⁠—they have not else shut their eyes, since nine hours before the time that Dr. Slop was led into the back parlour in that dirty pickle by Obadiah .

Was every day of my life to be as busy a day as this⁠—and to take up⁠—Truce.

I will not finish that sentence till I have made an observation upon the strange state of affairs between the reader and myself, just as things stand at present⁠—an observation never applicable before to any one biographical writer since the creation of the world, but to myself⁠—and I believe, will never hold good to any other, until its final destruction⁠—and therefore, for the very novelty of it alone, it must be worth your worships attending to.

I am this month one whole year older than I was this time twelvemonth; and having got, as you perceive, almost into the middle of my fourth volume⁠—and no farther than to my first day’s life⁠—’tis demonstrative that I have three hundred and sixty-four days more life to write just now, than when I first set out; so that instead of advancing, as a common writer, in my work with what I have been doing at it⁠—on the contrary, I am just thrown so many volumes back⁠—was every day of my life to be as busy a day as this⁠—And why not?⁠⸺⁠and the transactions

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