Dear Yorick , said my father, smiling (for Yorick had broke his rank with my uncle Toby in coming through the narrow entry, and so had stepped first into the parlour)—this Tristram of ours, I find, comes very hardly by all his religious rites.—Never was the son of Jew , Christian , Turk , or Infidel initiated into them in so oblique and slovenly a manner.—But he is no worse, I trust, said Yorick .—There has been certainly, continued my father, the deuce and all to do in some part or other of the ecliptic, when this offspring of mine was formed.—That, you are a better judge of than I, replied Yorick .—Astrologers, quoth my father, know better than us both:—the trine and sextil aspects have jumped awry,—or the opposite of their ascendants have not hit it, as they should,—or the lords of the genitures (as they call them) have been at bo-peep ,—or something has been wrong above, or below with us.
’Tis possible, answered Yorick .—But is the child, cried my uncle Toby , the worse?—The Troglodytes say not, replied my father. And your theologists, Yorick , tell us—Theologically? said Yorick ,—or speaking after the manner of apothecaries? —statesmen? —or washerwomen?
⸺I’m not sure, replied my father,—but they tell us, brother Toby , he’s the better for it.⸺Provided, said Yorick , you travel him into Egypt .⸺Of that, answered my father, he will have the advantage, when he sees the Pyramids .⸺
Now every word of this, quoth my uncle Toby , is Arabick to me.⸺I wish, said Yorick , ’twas so, to half the world.
⸺ Ilus , continued my father, circumcised his whole army one morning.—Not without a court martial? cried my uncle Toby