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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic
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XVII

The ancient Goths of Germany , who (the learned Cluverius is positive) were first seated in the country between the Vistula and the Oder , and who afterwards incorporated the Herculi , the Bugians , and some other Vandallick clans to ’em⁠—had all of them a wise custom of debating everything of importance to their state, twice; that is,⁠—once drunk, and once sober:⁠⸺⁠Drunk,⁠—that their councils might not want vigour;⁠⸺⁠and sober⁠—that they might not want discretion.

Now my father being entirely a water-drinker,⁠—was a long time gravelled almost to death, in turning this as much to his advantage, as he did every other thing which the ancients did or said; and it was not till the seventh year of his marriage, after a thousand fruitless experiments and devices, that he hit upon an expedient which answered the purpose;⁠⸺⁠and that was, when any difficult and momentous point was to be settled in the family, which required great sobriety, and great spirit too, in its determination,⁠⸺⁠he fixed and set apart the first Sunday night in the month, and the Saturday night which immediately preceded it, to argue it over, in bed, with my mother: By which contrivance, if you consider, Sir, with yourself, * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

These my father, humorously enough, called his beds of justice ;⁠⸺⁠for from the two different counsels taken in these two different humours, a middle one was generally found out which touched the point of wisdom as well, as if he had got drunk and sober a hundred times.

It must not be made a secret of to the world, that this answers full as well in literary discussions, as either in military or conjugal; but it is not every author that can try the experiment as the Goths and Vandals did

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