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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 538 of 810
Table of Contents

XVII

it⁠⸺⁠or, if he can, may it be always for his body’s health; and to do it, as my father did it,⁠—am I sure it would be always for his soul’s.

My way is this:⁠⸺⁠

In all nice and ticklish discussions⁠—(of which, heaven knows, there are but too many in my book),⁠—where I find I cannot take a step without the danger of having either their worships or their reverences upon my back⁠⸺⁠I write one-half full ,⁠—and t’other fasting ;⁠⸺⁠or write it all full,⁠—and correct it fasting:⁠⸺⁠or write it fasting,⁠—and correct it full, for they all come to the same thing:⁠⸺⁠So that with a less variation from my father’s plan, than my father’s from the Gothick ⁠⸺⁠I feel myself upon a par with him in his first bed of justice,⁠—and no way inferior to him in his second.⁠⸺⁠These different and almost irreconcileable effects, flow uniformly from the wise and wonderful mechanism of nature,⁠—of which,⁠—be hers the honour.⁠⸺⁠All that we can do, is to turn and work the machine to the improvement and better manufactory of the arts and sciences.⁠⸺⁠

Now, when I write full,⁠—I write as if I was never to write fasting again as long as I live;⁠⸺⁠that is, I write free from the cares as well as the terrors of the world.⁠⸺⁠I count not the number of my scars,⁠—nor does my fancy go forth into dark entries and bye-corners to antedate my stabs.⁠⸺⁠In a word, my pen takes its course; and I write on as much from the fullness of my heart, as my stomach.⁠⸺⁠

But when, an’ please your honours, I indite fasting, ’tis a different history.⁠⸺⁠I pay the world all possible attention and respect,⁠—and have as great a share (whilst it lasts) of that under-strapping virtue of discretion as the best of you.⁠⸺⁠So that betwixt both, I write a careless kind of a civil, nonsensical, good-humoured Shandean book, which will do all your hearts good⁠⸻

⸺⁠And all your heads too,⁠—provided you understand it.

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