—Then reach me my breeches off the chair, said my father to Susannah .⸺There is not a moment’s time to dress you, Sir, cried Susannah —the child is as black in the face as my⸺As your what? said my father, for like all orators, he was a dear searcher into comparisons.—Bless me, Sir, said Susannah , the child’s in a fit.—And where’s Mr. Yorick? —Never where he should be, said Susannah , but his curate’s in the dressing-room, with the child upon his arm, waiting for the name—and my mistress bid me run as fast as I could to know, as captain Shandy is the godfather, whether it should not be called after him.
Were one sure, said my father to himself, scratching his eyebrow, that the child was expiring, one might as well compliment my brother Toby as not—and it would be a pity, in such a case, to throw away so great a name as Trismegistus upon him⸺but he may recover.
No, no,⸺said my father to Susannah , I’ll get up⸻There is no time, cried Susannah , the child’s as black as my shoe. Trismegistus , said my father⸻But stay—thou art a leaky vessel, Susannah , added my father; canst thou carry Trismegistus in thy head, the length of the gallery without scattering?⸻Can I? cried Susannah , shutting the door in a huff.⸺If she can, I’ll be shot, said my father, bouncing out of bed in the dark, and groping for his breeches.
Susannah ran with all speed along the gallery.
My father made all possible speed to find his breeches.
Susannah got the start, and kept it—’Tis Tris —something, cried Susannah —There is no christian-name in the world, said the curate, beginning with Tris —but Tristram . Then ’tis Tristram-gistus , quoth Susannah .