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nydus/The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, GentlemanPublic

A man describes his birth and upbringing through the adventures of his family.

Page 662 of 810
Table of Contents

XLIII

the least probable conjecture: You will read the whole of it⁠⸻not this year, for I am hastening to the story of my uncle Toby’s amours⁠—but you will read it in the collection of those which have arose out of the journey across this plain⁠—and which, therefore, I call my

plain stories.

How far my pen has been fatigued, like those of other travellers, in this journey of it, over so barren a track⁠—the world must judge⁠—but the traces of it, which are now all set o’ vibrating together this moment, tell me ’tis the most fruitful and busy period of my life; for as I had made no convention with my man with the gun, as to time⁠—by stopping and talking to every soul I met, who was not in a full trot⁠—joining all parties before me⁠—waiting for every soul behind⁠—hailing all those who were coming through crossroads⁠—arresting all kinds of beggars, pilgrims, fiddlers, friars⁠⸺⁠not passing by a woman in a mulberry-tree without commending her legs, and tempting her into conversation with a pinch of snuff⁠⸻In short, by seizing every handle, of what size or shape soever, which chance held out to me in this journey⁠—I turned my plain into a city ⁠—I was always in company, and with great variety too; and as my mule loved society as much as myself, and had some proposals always on his part to offer to every beast he met⁠—I am confident we could have passed through Pall-Mall , or St. James’s -Street for a month together, with fewer adventures⁠—and seen less of human nature.

O! there is that sprightly frankness, which at once unpins every plait of a Languedocian’s dress⁠—that whatever is beneath it, it looks so like the simplicity which poets sing of in better days⁠—I will delude my fancy, and believe it is so.

’Twas in the road betwixt Nismes and Lunel , where there is the best Muscatto wine in all France , and which by the by belongs to the honest canons of Montpellier ⁠—and foul befall the man who has drank it at their table, who grudges them a drop of it.

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